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I have the cut price-not-quite version of amrriage that the straight people deem me worthy of here (oh yes I'm bitter) because I'm a lawyer. BECAUSE of those legal ramifications. I've seen relationships founder without them, I've seen what happens when there are legal challenges when couples split up when they decide for joint recognition and all the million other traps and pitfalls you can fall in. The legal framework is REALLY helpful.

I know I have SEEN the trainwrecks and fought through the courts with them when even straight couples try to work without these. I have tried to create packs of papers and wills and contracts and affidavits for unmarried couples to try and duplicate the rights and protections of marriage under the law - and I can't do it.

These laws MATTER, these rights are important

And more so when, as a same-sex couple - you already have to fight tooth and nail to have your relationship acknowledged anyway.

Which is another bonus - in a society that tells me my love and relationship isn't REAL, it's damned USEFUL (let alone affirming) to have a contract that says "This is my spouse. We are a couple. This is REAL damn it."


Marriage rights are really important if one of the people is not a US citizen and needs immigration rights (which are currently denied even if you are legally married due to DOMA)



It seems to me that the lifetime commitment, if anything, is to actually be married. Talking about it entails no responsibility for the future.

And, as for the will, of god: how do you know that?


Horsie, perhaps you'd ought to mind your own back yard. I'm unsure where the Bible advocates being a busybody.

Greta Christina

Admin note: valhar2000 and Thumpalumpacus are responding to what turns out to be a spam comment, which has now been deleted due to commercial content. Hence, their seeming to be talking to nobody. Enjoy the surrealism.

Cath the Canberra Cook

Hey, Greta, Blowfish Blog is down at the moment.


This is a beautiful post. You've made the eyes of this decidedly unromantic woman a bit misty.

When I say I have no plans to get married, women look at me like I'm from another planet. (I'm sure some men would too, but I've not come across any yet.) It's like people don't even think about what they're doing, just that they *have* to do it. It's never made sense to me. I never fantasized about wedding dresses and the like as a kid & actually dreaded the fact that one day I would have to (so I thought) get married. I did not want to say touchy-feely things in front of any other human beings, especially those to whom I was related.

I count marriage as just one more thing religion has destroyed. What other form of insanity could cause someone to get engaged after 6 months of dating, only to be married to someone they despise for the rest of their lives because divorce is against their religion? To put up with the abuse of yourself and your children because you would be shamed by your religion for getting a divorce? Sanctity of marriage, my ass.

I'll stop here before I start going on a rant, haha.


The only thing I have a problem with is that gay or straight, legal family is only recognized for blood relatives and married people. What if a few of my closest friends are who I want to be my legal family? Why do only romantic and blood relationships count? This is why I believe that marriage should be abolished on the legal level and civil unions enacted, that come with all the same marriage rights, except the nature of the relationship of the people involved will not be asked because it is irrelevant. I want them to have these rights and that is all the government needs to know.

Greta Christina

kristen: I share many of your objections... but why have the answer be to abolish marriage? Why not instead try to create legal rights and responsibilities for chosen families?

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