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I hit play on Tim's video and my jaw dropped open. It was a shock to her rational thought in a love song. It was awesome to finally hear someone turn my exact thoughts into a love song. Tim is very VERY good.

Roy Sablosky

There is a beautiful song by Neil Tennant (the Pet Shop Boys) called "You Choose":

He's gone you've lost
Stay behind and count the cost.
You try you lose
You don't fall in love by chance you choose.

It's a decision made over time --
Should you take a risk and start to climb
The steepest hill only to find
Halfway there you've been left behind?

Choosing to love is risking a lot
And trying to change and to give all you've got
But don't pretend it comes out of the blue.
You take a chance and see it through.
And if it's refused what can you do?
Continue, hopefully? Start anew?

Lick your wounds buy your booze --
You won't get drunk by accident you'll choose.
Don't blame him for refusing your bid
He didn't decide to love you did.

Learn the lesson take the blows --
You didn't fall in love by chance you chose.
Play the sad songs sing the blues --
You don't fall in love by chance
you choose.

Steve Bowen

Tim Minchin can do no wrong. I saw his latest show last year and he just gets better.check out Storm where he totally nails the woo around alternative meds.
And of course love is about hard work and making sure the familiar doesn't get over familiar and recognising that lust sometimes operates outside of our control, so not getting too worked up if your partner finds someone else attractive etc.


Yeah, that song is quite something. The song he wrote about Christmas is also excellent: in it he talks about how it feels to celebrate it with people he loves, and how little the rituals and the politics have to do with it. That one is not funny like this one, but it is incredibly moving.


What a sensible and moving post. I wish I'd read something like that thirty years ago it might have put a bit of sense into my muddled head and helped me to see that a life on your own is only half a life but probably not as there is no contradicting stupidity. BTW for anyone who hasn't seen Tim Minchin live, do so if you get the chance, he's brilliant.

Great post. I've spent the last five years giving up god and woo and have found the concept of love to be my last sacred cow. This post has put into words much of my mental meanderings on the subject. Thank you.

And Tim Minchin rocks.


& some obligatory Rush:

"Ghost of a Chance"

Like a million little doorways
All the choices we made
All the stages we passed through
All the roles we played

For so many different directions
Our separate paths might have turned
With every door that we opened
Every bridge that we burned

Somehow we find each other
Through all that masquerade
Somehow we found each other
Somehow we have stayed
In a state of grace

I don't believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last...


I loved the Tim Minchin Song. Also, I really loved that "you fall within a bell curve" became a term of endearment for you two.

I followed your example. After showing my husband, I told him he was at least two standard deviations out on the bell curve. Later this evening he set my alarm clock for me and wanted to be promoted to 3 standard deviations, but I told him he would have to do better than that to get 3.

Greta Christina

Dan, that is so sweet. Nerds in love are the best. Especially gay nerds in love.


Thank you for this. Me and my girlfriend are freaks as well

You are not freaks, "you fall within a bell curve" is an endearment to us too, it's good to know that someone with similar views to mine has already spent 2x as much time together with someone and still gives the impression of being madly in love with them. Thank you!

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