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I completely agree with you; I've never seen the utility or attraction of the sexual positions-type books, but maybe it's because me & my sweetie already have the communication and fantasy-sharing down. But I mostly wanted to comment because I love the surfer-ballet photo, couldn't stop laughing. Thanks!


Ron Schmidt

...but how does that Double Reverse Astronaut Position work?


In my world, not only do I not get positional variety, but my distaff partner AVOIDS discussing sex in any way, shape, or form. About the only time I hear about sex from her is when I've gone too long without attempting to get her interested in another chapter of been here done this. She is very disdainful about my wants and needs, because "that's not how it's done." So for me, while I'm open both to the positional books, lame as they are, and the spicier things that Greta mentions, I'm also into hearing what my partner's wants and needs are. For many years there has been nothing but silence, for I won't go there alone.


No matter how tastefully erotic the photos in the book are.
Actually I think you hit the nail on the head there. Because what these books are, is safe. They don't ask you to do anything you're not already doing (assuming you're already doing penile-vaginal intercourse): they're not asking you to do anything that might scare your partner, or look kinky, or feel kinky, or worse, *be embarrassing*. They're just safe. "Hey honey, if we did it doggy style, things might be more fun."

And yes, that's probably not going to work. But just possibly, the tasteful, pointless books are a safe way to begin the process of talking about the fact that, umm, things aren't quite like we want them to be. And, you know, maybe we could... and I've always wondered about....

Not everyone's as sexually literate as you are, Greta, and maybe crappy books like these are a place to start.

But then I haven't had sex for four years and I'm about to get divorced, so I'm not sure anyone should take my opinion for anything :-D

Steve Daklar

Yes, the only difference between all of these sex positions is having "the Exact Same Sex You've Been Having, But With Your Bodies Arranged Somewhat Differently.". Obviously there's nothing remotely stimulating about varying things like physical closeness to partner, eye contact, depth of penetration, direct physical contact, visual stimulation... *rolleyes*

Oversimplification doesn't do anyone any favours. I hope it's a deliberate oversight.


Am I allowed to agree with you on the merits and still think that first picture ("365 Sex Positions") is hot as hell?


You speak the truth, but I think there are a significant number of people who would be helped by such a pillow book. There are at least two categories:

  1. People for whom sex has fallen into a bit of a rut. They've tried a few things, figured out what makes all parties happy, and repeated that rather a lot. A book full of ideas, even if impractical, jogs the mind and gets one thinking about additional possibilities.
  2. People who are shy and inhibited about talking about their desires. Not anti-sex, just feel uncomfortable raising the subject. A book makes a nice ice-breaker. I'm reminded of the joke about two Finns shipwrecked on a desert island for months, and when some folks appear to rescue them, one runs up and says "It's so nice to see another face; perhaps you can introduce us!"

There are a large number of people who just aren't used to talking about sex, and can use the help. It doesn't so much matter what is said as that something is said.

Greta Christina

Steve: I don't have any objections to experimenting with different positions. I'm very much in favor of it. And I said so in this piece. I just don't think that, by itself, that's going to be enough variety to spice up a sex life that's otherwise unvarying and lacking in communication.

Sue and Eclectic: Yes, those are fair points, and are probably the best defenses of these kinds of books. They play it very safe and offer only the tiniest glimpse of what sexual variety can look like. But if they encourage otherwise timid and shy people to begin experimenting and talking about sex, that's not a bad thing.

Quinapalus: Why, yes. Yes, you can. :-)


I think books in this genre largely sell as much for soft porn photography as for practical use.

And as for usefulness, I think these books are useful for couples who are *already* having good PIV sex and want to play with new PIV positions. Though many of the more exotic positions positions presented have the same problem as much of porn sex – they are positions that look great to somebody who's watching, but are uncomfortable or otherwise not the most pleasurable for those actually doing them.

chicago dyke

every book that makes it to publication does so because someone has identified a market for it. books like these seem tame to people like us, but the truth is they are exotic to many, many more. i agree with all the points you made, and i'll toss in one more: books like these are for men who want the woman/en in their lives to have sex with them more frequently. hence the PIV focus of most of them, as well as the lack of focus on talking, foreplay, etc. sort of like "male enhancement" products. the target audience is the male who believes that with "just a few more tricks" he'll suddenly become the world's greatest and most desired lover. you see a lot of these types around the internet. the idea that a woman wants so much more than penetration is completely foreign to them, and they don't want to think about it. better to believe (and spend money accordingly) that it's something "simple" and that doesn't threaten their own lack of sexual understanding and imagination.


Wow, cd, clever insight into the who-and-why of these books; that had never occurred to me. (I almost said "penetrating insight", but that just would have made it creepy.)

Evan Michaels

Haha - Thanks for making me laugh and nod in agreence.

And remember people, warm up and stretch first if you are going to reverse korean neck crunch...

People could get hurt if they jump right in!

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