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I used to do the same thing until I saw you mention it. :)

Now I'll include a backstory if it enhances the fantasy. But not to make it plausible.


I do this, too! Sometimes I spend more time making up the backstory leading up to the sex than I do fantasizing about the sex itself.

I've not done anything to really deal with it other than what you've mentioned. I either work with it to make it OK in my world, or I change the fantasy.

If you come up with anything that helps, I'd really like to know. I tend to over think things anyway, so this may just be an extension of that.


Yes, I do a similar thing. reasons why you're at places, why you're wearing that skimpy dress that'll come undone at the 'wrong' moment, how you end up at a party with just you and a horde of guys...
what i do most of the time is i have a 'stock fantasy'. that has the general scenario, the back story all sorted as i've done it before. then i rearrange the details as i see fit, and can just start on thinking up the good stuff right away.


I came up with a fantasy once about being abducted by a race of psychic blue-skinned shapeshifting aliens who have to get their sexual kicks through empathic connections with humans because their own pleasure response is rather stunted in comparison.

I ended up putting so much thought into the dialogues and character development and the political relations between the alien race and the Starfleet-like organisation that the whole thing could be converted quite easily into a "clean" space opera story.


Hypothesis: Seems like they're mostly character-driven fantasies. Character-driven anything is only as effective as the details. Characters are only effective period because of their details. Remove the details and the background work to accommodate them and you remove the whole reason they're hot in the first place.


This is why I enjoy reading other's already laid-out fantasies. I don't have to worry about consistency and continuity, I don't have to worry about backstories, etc. And also why I tend to only have them about purely fictional characters- I can never justify trysts with real people.

Angel Kaida

I do this too, and it's *infuriating.* I sometimes get lost in an interesting backstory and end up just making up fiction in my head until I accidentally fall asleep or forget what the original intention was and wander off.

Jack Rawlinson

Totally with you on this one, Greta. I always have to have a thread of plausibility in fantasies, even if it 's fairly remote and optimistic. As I get older it becomes ever more remote and optimistic, but it still needs to be there. :-)


One of the lovely things about this blog is constantly finding out I'm not the only weird one :)


What if there is a sign on the restroom door that says, "Out of order. Please be patient; Plumber coming tomorrow!"?

... Um, yeah, I absolutely do this too! :)


I can't say I do this, but I can understand why you would. I mean, I have to have a reason why I'm having sex with that particular person, but not a backstory.

Your post actually reminds me of something I saw on one of my favorite shows fairly recently. Only I can't remember which show it was on. Maybe "Scrubs", maybe "How I Met Your Mother", possibly "Two 1/2 Men" or "Big Bang Theory". But it was funny, the way they laid it out! Looks like you're not alone, if they're writing tv scripts about exactly the same thing. :-)

Andy Jewell

I thought I was the only one! Yes, I do this too, and yes it's darned annoying.

Steve Bowen

Yeah! I think this is very common. I have to have the whole narrative pretty much sorted before it works for me.

Right now I'm working on one where I spank a famous blogger in a cafe bathroom.


For a long time I had the greatest difficulty to fantasize about consensual sex because nobody had ever expressed sexual attraction towards me so I couldn't plausibly imagine it...


Shelli, I think you're remembering Marshall's elaborate justification process for fantasizing about someone besides Lily. Funny scene!

Nathan Pozderac

I fantasize about things that I know my wife wouldn't do. I know my wife would do the sex stuff, but locations, times, etc. I have to figure how to convince her or persuade her.

I do the same thing with non-sexual things as when I dream about playing in the NBA or something. How would I get [insert NBA star here] to see me playing and think I'm awesome and bring me to a tryout. haha

I'm a new reader, and just want to let you know that I love what I have read so far. I've seen a few things that have been linked to by others, but now I am starting to go backwards and read.


I do pretty much the same thing. It's actually one of the reasons I don't enjoy most porn, because it is so obviously unlike reality. When I do fantasize, it is usually something that I think I have a pretty good chance of happening. I actually prefer to fantasize about people who I know, especially during that flirting phase where I am not sure if some sex will come out of it.

And sometimes it's just about people out-of-reach, but who I can tell there is an attraction. For me, it is more about whether it is with a person who may fantasize about sex with me. Whether they will actually do it or not is not my main concern.

Timothy (TRiG)

My fantasies tend to be either similarly elaborate or starkly simple. I lack middle gears. And I like something similar when I read porn. (Watching porn, any storyline at all is an unwanted distraction.)


Julie paradox

oh goody, this thing I thought was me being terribly repressed as usual is something Greta Christina does too ;-)

I am working on Not Using A Condom in my brief-encounter fantasies...

As you can see, I'm a novice
at this.


I think I'm even worse than you are. If I am fantasizing about characters from books or in sci-fi/fantasy settings I start having to come up with possible (if not probable) ways that I could be transported to that setting and how it is that the authors came to know about those worlds/places/people etc. It is a pain in the ass sometimes, but it can also expand the fantasy and make it more interesting.

Julie paradox

cpsmith: you need the machine from Number of the Beast (multiperson solipsistic narrativism or something)


Hi there! Been lurking for a while. Love the blog, and considering I do THE EXACT SAME THING (emphasis added), I figured I'd post... :P

But yeah, I have the same problem. My big hook is World of Warcraft. No, I'm not joking. I'm a huge WoW fan and nothing gets my motor running like kinky WoW-universe fantasies.

And yes, being a big lore nerd, I have to make sure that they are all totally consistent and fit well with the canon.

I've found that my solution is to find something that works, craft the scenario carefully over several days if necessary, and then just replay my masterpieces over and over when needed. :P

Not the ideal fantasy (so much for spontaneity... :P), but it works.

King Aardvark

I think you're just fishing for Alyson Hannigan to stumble upon this post, think "Hey, that's not a bad idea" and come looking for you. Sort of a self-fulfulling prophesy.


Oh good lord. I do this too.

I think it's a symptom of having the analytic part of the brain running constantly, or nearly constantly. Which is not a bad thing, it's probably part of why people you and I are so incredibly analytically competent. Even when you're fanaticizing, it's still running and sending up the same alerts to your conscious mind which it would send up if you were doing your tax returns.

Plausible explanation, that? I hope?


Oh. My. God.

I thought I was the only person that did this. I actually have a plot device that explains how I can drop into any fictional universe. Because Capt. Janeway is not enough.

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