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nina hartley

Great stuff, as always! I have little to add besides this regarding the quote:

"the argument that setting up your non-monogamy agreements so your anxieties don’t get triggered means your anxieties will never get addressed, and will never go away."

I've found that that's not quite true. By setting up the agreements so that triggers aren't pulled, trust is built between primary partners. "H/she is listening to me and I feel safer. I have space to take a closer look at my triggers/issues to see how I can resolve/decrease some of them."

Over time, triggers can be, and have been, reduced significantly or even eliminated, with a little showing of respect and patience by the primary partner. In time, the person with the triggers may come to see that his/her underlying issues had very little to do with sex per se and more to do with issues of trust, boundary setting, communication and belonging, etc. and can move past them.


Oh no, I've been refering to myself as a fundamentalist athiest! I must have spread that one. sorry. What I should say is "I dont know and neither do you so STFU?" One other thing, I am not too perturbed by group prayer and find it a great time to make faces at people whilst they commune with their lord. Also, I live deep in the heart o texas...therefore I treat preachers and the police in the same way. (smile, nod, stay out of the way)*bats eyes vacantly*

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