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Marley Fitz

My husband and I.....we stopped worrying about "getting there/off" at the same time years ago. Cause, even when we were able to do so, it didn't make the orgasm more intense.....It made no difference at all.

Now, at 54 (him) and 49 (me), we don't concern ourselves w/ whom gets where first. We both enjoy being in charge of our our orgasm..and we like to decide when to get there. (After all, I've been getting there all on my own since I was five.)

But, we are "courteous" lovers/partners. If he gets there first, he hangs around to help me get there (maybe talks filthy to me). If I get there first, I make sure I don't just get up and head for the clean-up wipes. I encourage him and just enjoy watching his face get all screwed up before he "gets there".

And, sometimes, one of us may not get there at all and really (believe me when I say this), it does not matter. Maybe I've had one drink too many or maybe he's been working too many hours and he's exhausted. But, once again, we are courteous lovers/partners and make every effort to be present for each other (in and out of the bedroom).

nina hartley

Right again,Greta! I just did a Guide on this very topic, and, while I give some tips for playing around with the notion, I made sure to drive home the point that any goal oriented sex play gets old very fast. It's about play, not work.

Ernest and I are big turn takers, too. SInce I'm the one more likely to conk out after I come, we have his first and then mine. Very nice.

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