I Do -- And Why: The Blowfish Blog

Remember about a week ago, when the California Supreme Court same-sex ruling came out? I was all a-twitter with girlish glee and didn't know what to say, but said I'd say more later?

This is later.

I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It's about why we want to get married -- not civil- unioned, not domestic- partnered, but married. It's about why we'd want that even if all the legal and financial and other practical questions were a moot point. And it's about what same-sex marriage in California will change for us... and what it won't. It's called I Do -- And Why, and here's the teaser:

But I want to talk about something else today. I don't want to talk about the legal and practical benefits of marriage. I don't want to talk about hospital visitation rights, child custody rights, inheritance rights, tax benefits, all that good stuff. That's all important, but it's also well-covered ground. I want to talk about something more intangible. I want to talk about why we're getting married... apart from all that.

To find out why, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!

Comments

[oldcola]

Congratulation!

[Tracy Canfield]

I wish you both every happiness!

[Bekah]

Now if only Angelina Jolie would come out and profess her love for me it would all be complete! I loved your article too...but I still love AJ..

[Kit Whitfield]

Congratulations, and well said.

From a heterosexual point of view, there's a tremendous advantage to same-sex marriage being recognised as well. As long as Marriage Is Between A Man And A Woman, in effect, straight people are co-opted on the basis of their sexuality into an institution that's being used to oppress their fellow-citizens. And that sucks. I like the idea of getting married, I don't like the idea of treating gay people as not-full-citizens, and I don't like to feel that by doing one, I'll be tacitly participating in the other. (I'm not such a martyr that I'd refuse to marry until gay marriage is legalised all over - there are better ways to make your point, and that would inconvenience no one but me and my partner - but I'd be much happier if my gay friends could marry too. Then marriage could be one happy party for all of us.)

Because, in the end, hetero-only marriage insults all of us. It insults gay people most, of course, but it's insulting to heteros too. I want the right to marry because I'm an adult and a citizen, not because my personal tastes happen to tend towards a lifestyle of which traditionalists approve. I don't want my rights to be dependent on my orientation. I want the right to marry a woman if I wish, even if I never avail myself of it; that recognises the free choice I make if I marry a man.

Turning marriage into a let's-exclude-the-queers club degrades it. It's high time the law recognised that gay and bi people are citizens too.

I wish you and your dear wife a long and happy marriage. :-)

[xxx]

cool