If you're not a Buffy fan, you probably won't get this at all. If you are a Buffy fan, do not imbibe liquids while reading this, as you will spit them all over your keyboard.
It's The GOP Primary Field in Buffy Villains -- a guide to the Republican Presidential candidates, explaining them by comparing them to villains from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
My very favorite is Fred Thompson as The Judge: "His backers got all excited and made a big effort to assemble him. When they finally put him together, he turned out to be a lethargic mess and didn't accomplish very much."
And there's quite a bit of debate over where to put Rudy Giuliani. It's a toughie, but after giving it way too much thought, here's my suggestion:
Illyria.
Constantly obsessing about a moment of glory in his past, to the point where it's become pathetic. Convinced that this past moment of glory still makes him impressive and intimidating and worthy of respect... and prone to getting very agitated when people don't share this opinion. Nowhere near as powerful as he used to be, but still a threat. Not completely incapable of human feeling, but ultimately craven and self-centered.
What are y'all's thoughts? And what about the Dems? What Buffy villains -- or flawed heroes -- are they?
And thanks to Rebecca for the tip!
Mike Huckabee: Caleb, or the old woman from "Where the Wild Things Are"
John Edwards: The Mayor
Hillary Clinton: Lila Morgan
Barack Obama: Faith on Angel when she's battling with herself, perhaps Lindsey
Ron Paul: Ted
Posted by: lunalelle | January 18, 2008 at 12:31 PM
Actually, correction:
Ron Paul is the Mayor.
John Edwards is Ted.
Posted by: lunalelle | January 18, 2008 at 12:32 PM
I have to agree with the original post, which has Mitt Romney as the Mayor. It's a real stumper: which one is creepier?
And I think Hillary Clinton is Professor Walsh.
Posted by: Nurse Ingrid | January 18, 2008 at 12:41 PM
I don't care what you do with them, just wrap Spike in a tidy package with a carton of cigarettes and ship him to my bunk.
That said, I think Dennis Kucinich is Jonathan, simply because he's short, smart and nerdy and I like him.
The out-of-the picture incumbent president is Benjamin and his VP Cheney is Glory because Glory's power hungry and you never see the two in the same room together. Plus, I'd bet Cheney would give anything for a sassy red dress and a nice pair of Manolos.
Huckabee is the Mayor. He seems sweet and avuncular, but we know better.
Clinton is Dawn, because she annoys the hell out of me, but I know I may have to vote for her.
Edwards is Giles at the end of season six. You might think he's not got a lot going on, but he could very well have a powerful coven backing him up somewhere.
Al Gore was built by Warren before Warren became all evil and stuff. (Not in the running but I threw that in there.)
McCain is that demon that scared the hell out of the frathouse. Once they actually saw him, they realized he was only a few inches high ("Oh...it says 'actual size'").
Thompson is Principal Skinner - he wants to make the country a No Fun Zone.
Guiliani is the Subway Slayer. Did a lot of good in NYC, lives in the past, and is, electorally speaking, dead.
Hope that helps. Hope you're doing well ^-^
Posted by: The Cat Herder | January 18, 2008 at 02:55 PM
I like to think of them more as the seven dwarves' bumbling cousins, Or as peanuts characters. I never really got into Buffy. gassy (hot air)huckabee,Crusty (Mcain),preachy(thompson),delusional(guliani),Pappy( RPaul) ,twichy(kuchinich),DEPpy(ya'll remember from the 80's(Edwards), cheesy(Obama), and for Hilary I can't really decide on her or the others, and frankly It would be too long and I don't want to be a comment whore.
Posted by: Bekahwarr | January 19, 2008 at 08:58 AM
Hilarious!
Posted by: winter | January 22, 2008 at 08:16 AM
Yeah, I was really proud of the Judge one too :)
Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | January 24, 2008 at 11:26 PM