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The Observer


Would you please pass by my blog and give us your input on this subject. I just posted about it.


I read this post and immediately decided you were my soul sister- and that is not something said lightly. Thank you for putting in words something I had been thinking about, and somehow encapsulating my experience by describing your own.


I have been wondering this very question for a while. When people ask me why I like BDSM, I give the standard answers like "flogging doesn't feel like it looks like it feels" and "endorphins make it feel good", etc. Because the real answer is "I don't know why, it just does". The pain hurts. It doesn't hurt any less, really, than when someone smacks me on accident at work. But I like it. And I don't know why.

Now I have an inkling why. Your words rang a bell in my head. I have more processing to do, but there is at least now a direction to go in.

Thank you.


I think you should pass your comments along to these people:
They could benefit from your insights.


I like this piece a lot, but it leaves me unsatisfied. I read it and think "Nope, that's not why I like pain (in the context of SM, that is)." And then I think, "Then why DO I like it?" And I just don't know. And that's irritating. I like it. And I like that I like it. But I don't know why. Grr argh.


There's a LOT of truth to what you say. I liken the experience to being tossed in the rapids; my higher brain functions can take a break and I can stop thinking and just EXPERIENCE.

There's some trust involved. Just like fear is fun in a roller coaster where you know you're not REALLY going to die, so the pain can be fun when you know you're not REALLY getting maimed.

It's not like other "fun" sports don't involve pain. Heck, *exercise* hurts, if you're doing it right.

There are also learned experiences—I've flown higher on endorphins than any external intoxicants I've tried.

I don't fully understand it myself, but it's similar to the way that people learn to enjoy deep massages.

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