Ingrid and I flew out this weekend to see our new niece (baby pictures coming soon!), and as is the way of our people, we picked up a copy of Us magazine at the airport to read on the plane. (To be more accurate, Ingrid picked up a copy of Us magazine to read on the plane, and I mocked her mercilessly for it and then read it over her shoulder. As is the way of our people.)
So there was a bit about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt taking some sort of driving trip... with the parenthetical remark, "Jolie drove!"
And I've been in a pop-culture snit about the remark ever since.
Why the fuck should that be in any way remarkable? Why should it be surprising, or even worth commenting on, that the woman in a hetero relationship did the driving on a family trip?
It's the exclamation point that really got my goat. If there were simply a parenthetical remark saying "(Jolie drove)," it might have just been a passing remark to set the scene in more detail for a celebrity-obsessed public. It's the exclamation point that makes the meaning clear. Wow! How strange! How fascinating! A movie-star couple went on a driving trip -- and the woman drove the car! Heavens!
For fuck's sake. This is the sort of thing I'd expect to see in a movie magazine from the Fifties. It's straight out of the era of woman-driver jokes.
And I think that's why it got my goat. I'm used to your garden-variety early-21st-century sexism -- the hyper-critical body fascism, the glass ceiling, the "have it all" pressure to be successful at work while keeping a perfect happy home while maintaining a flawless personal appearance, the denial that sexism is still a problem, yada yada yada. And I'm used to the kinds of sexism that have been around for decades and indeed centuries: the virgin/whore complex, the contempt and hostility towards female sexual assertiveness, the characterization of powerful women as unfeminine shrikes. Again, yada yada yada. They tick me off, but unless they're unusually egregious, I rarely feel inspired to blog about them.
But this was so dated, such a trope of sexism from another era, that I felt like it didn’t have any excuse. It's not one of those forms of sexism that's so prevalent it's invisible. If it is invisible, it shouldn't be. This is the sort of sexism that shouldn't even be an issue anymore. This is the sort of clumsy, obvious, ham-handed gender rigidity that I thought our culture was at least making a token gesture towards avoiding.
Jolie drove!
For fuck's sake.
Beth and Michael went to Boston, and Beth drove! Beth and Michael had dinner, and Michael cooked! Beth and Michael went to L.A., and Beth drove AGAIN! Beth and Michael had sex, and they took turns being on top! Oh my god! Beth and Michael went wedding ring shopping, and split the cost! Beth and Michael should start hanging out with Brad and Angelina, except that they'd probably have to hang out with the kids too, and Beth and Michael got married, and didn't breed! On purpose! And STILL, Beth and Michael haven't made it into US Magazine. What does it freakin' take???
Posted by: Beth Terry | July 06, 2007 at 03:13 AM
For fuck's sake is right. Do you think this is the only thing we can write about when it comes to sexism? Porn and Jolie driving?
what about the stuff that happens to nonwhite women? what about the fact that in rap women (of all stripes, not that it should matter) are routinely called bitches and ho's. here are a couple of gems:
"bitch please you must have a mental disease, assume the position and get on your knees."
"fuck a bitch, don't tease bitch
strip tease bitch, eat a bowl of these bitch, gobble a dick. ho's forgot eat a dick and shut the fuck up".
these aren't obscure lyrics. these are by mainstream artists. the second one is from Xxplosive which is a very popular song. if you listen to Dr. Dre's 2001 album you'll be amazed at the amount of hatred delivered to women, not to mention the fact that it's all from a male perspective with few women to respond. it's amazing that women can be so "euro" that they overlook things like this in favor of constantly talking about porn (no offense) and noticing things like in US magazine. I would say that the Jolie drove comment was extremely flukish. no one is surprised to see Britney driving unless there's a baby on her lap.
Posted by: sexposfemme | July 06, 2007 at 02:43 PM
Sexposfemme, no one is surprised to see Britney or Angelina or any other woman drive when she is alone or with kids or other women. But they are still surprised when there is a man in the car. It's not, Oh my god, a woman driving! It's, Oh my god, a woman driving a man!
Posted by: Beth Terry | July 07, 2007 at 03:05 PM
ok, that makes sense then. upon rereading, I see that my post may have come across as harsh, so I just want to establish that I didn't mean to have that kind of tone. the first sentence was supposed to be a quip. :)
Posted by: sexposfemme | July 08, 2007 at 06:15 AM
Oh. Well, it may seem anachronistic, but... I like the man to drive -- and I prefer to date guys who can drive. And I would be turned off if a guy wanted me to drive him somewhere. I think I would just find it very unsexy. I actually broke up with someone who suggested I learn to drive!
But each to her own! Maybe I'm a bit of a retro freak???
Posted by: Tracy Quan | July 10, 2007 at 12:52 AM