Please note: This piece includes some references to my personal sex life, and specifically to my tastes in porn. Family members and others who don't want to read about that, please don't. This piece was originally published on the Blowfish Blog.
The topic for today's sermon:
Women who like gay male porn.
And people who are surprised by this.
We'll start with the facts: There are some women who like gay male porn. I'm one of them. And I'm not the only one. Look at the widespread phenomenon of slash fanfic: erotic fiction about fictional characters, typically about two or more male characters, and typically written by and for straight women. (Kirk/Spock, anyone? Or are you more of a Snape/Draco girl?) And it isn't just written porn: there are women who like gay male porn videos, photos, comics. There's even an entire genre of Japanese comics and graphic novels, yaoi, devoted to gay male love and/or sex stories created for a female audience. (If you're one of these gay- porn- lovin' women, btw -- please speak up in the comments! I know more or less what I get out of gay male porn, but I'd love to hear what you get out of it.)
It's true that this desire hasn't been reflected very much in the video porn industry -- and video porn is what a lot of people default to when they think about "porn." But "women don't like gay porn" isn't a very good explanation for this. (Some better ones: Women on average are more interested in written porn than videos. And the video porn industry can be idiots sometimes: they're terrified of putting something on screen that might turn off straight guys; they largely ignore the potential of the women's market; and even when they try to cater to women's tastes in porn, they tend to get it laughably wrong.)
So those are the facts: Some women like gay male porn. Enough so that there are entire porn genres that cater to it.
And yet, many people seem deeply surprised by this. Many people assume that this phenomenon doesn't exist, and will ponder the question of why women don't like gay porn when so many guys love the girl-girl stuff And many people are entirely baffled when they hear about women who like all boy-boy action, wondering, "What on earth do they get out of it?"
So if you're surprised by the fact that some women like to watch/ read about two men doing it, let me ask you this:
Are you surprised by the fact that some men like to watch/ read about two women doing it?
"Girl-girl action" is so common in heterosexual video porn, it's not even considered a fetish. It's a completely standard menu item, like fucking and sucking. As for all girl-girl videos, they're all over the "hetero" porn market like a cheap suit. And nobody seems the least bit surprised by any of this.
So if you're puzzled by why some women are into porn with two guys, ask yourself: Why are some men -- indeed, a whole lotta men -- so excited by porn with two girls?
The answers vary, of course. Some men like girl-girl porn because they're not attracted to men. Some are actively turned off by the sight of men; others really just prefer to look at women. They get off on femaleness -- and they like to see a lot of it, undiluted by the maleness that they're just not that into.
Well, that's true for some women, too. Some women like gay porn because they're hot for guys, not girls, and guys are who they want to look at/ read about. They want to enjoy maleness, and male sexuality. And even those of us who appreciate both women and men in our porn sometimes like to enjoy just one or the other. I, for one, like lots of different kinds of porn -- but one of them is definitely the kind that's all about hard cocks and hard muscles. Undiluted by soft breasts and pussies.
Moving on: Some men like girl-girl porn because they like the fantasy of a three-way (or four-way, or five-way, or whatever) that includes them. They like to watch two (or more) women do it because then they can project themselves into the scene. They like to look at all this delightful female pulchritude... and then imagine themselves as the center of it all.
Well, that's true for some women, too. Some women like to watch/ read about two or more guys... so they can imagine themselves as the center of a whole lot of hot male attention. The delicious meat in a Kirk/Spock sandwich, if you will.
And some men like girl-girl porn for the exact opposite reason: they like the alien-ness, the difference, of women, and of lesbians. They don't want to project themselves into the scenario at all. They see women as excitingly mysterious, exotic even. They see lesbians in particular as enticingly out of reach. And they don't want that mysterious allure tainted by the quotidian familiarity of men.
And again, that's true for some women, too. For some women, gay male porn is alien, exotic. Forbidden fruit, even. It's like the key to the secret garden; a keyhole peep into a world we're not supposed to see.
I've read other explanations for why women like boy-boy porn -- explanations as varied as the women themselves. Some women like the fact that gay porn features seriously good-looking guys, while straight porn all too often succumbs to the "ugly guys with big dicks" phenomenon. Some like kinky porn, and they've found gay kinky porn to be harder and kinkier. Some like kinky porn with male tops, but aren't comfortable watching women they don't know get beaten and humiliated. Some like to watch intense butt-sex, and gay porn has plenty to spare. Etc. Etc. Etc. (And yes, for the record: The reasons some men like to watch girl-girl porn are wildly varied as well.)
I'm not sure what my point is here. I think my point is just this:
Yes, Virginia, some women like boy-boy porn. Exclusively, primarily, or as one of many porny varieties. And this fact is entirely unsurprising. Or it should be. The fact that some women like boy-boy porn should be no more surprising that the fact that some men -- okay, lots of men -- like girl-girl porn.
And if our culture took female sexual desire seriously, nobody would blink an eye at it.