The Learned Fetish

Note: This piece includes many specific and detailed references to my personal sex life. Family members and others who don't want to read about that, please don't read this one.

I have a new piece on the Blowfish Blog. In it, I talk about the idea that sexual desires and fetishes are learned early... and I counter this idea -- sort of -- by examining some fetishes that I've only recently acquired. And I look at how that process works... and how new fetishes feed into old ones.

It's titled The Learned Fetish, and here's the teaser:

Now, these aren't full-blown fetishes in the standard sense. They aren't a necessary component of my sexual arousal and satisfaction. I'm perfectly capable of enjoying sex without engaging in them or thinking about them; I'm perfectly capable of enjoying masturbation without fantasizing about them. (I do think that core sexual desires, such as being gay or more deeply rooted fetishes, aren't very malleable; and unless it's a fetish that non-consensually hurts other people, I don't see any reason to try.)

But my new interests are fetishes in the less-standard sense. They occupy a significant portion of my erotic imagination. (Translated: I think about them a lot when I whack off.) I deliberately search for them in my porn, and fixate on them when I'm -- ahem -- enjoying my porn. And the sight or thought of them often sexually excites me, even if they're not coming up in a sexual context.

Specifically -- I know my readers, you don't want to hear about this in the abstract, you want the dirty lascivious details, and I'm happy to oblige...

And I'm very cruelly cutting off the teaser there, to make you want to go read the piece. Enjoy! And if you're inspired to comment here in this blog, please consider cross-posting your comment to the Blowfish Blog. They like comments there, too.

Comments

[Nasma]

Sorry, I really mucked up that last post. Here it is without the links.

"have your newly-acquired fetishes mostly fed into existing ones . . . or have they opened up entirely different erotic avenues?”

For me it’s a combination of both. Over the last few years, I’ve got more and more into mind-control fiction. It wasn’t something that started up as entirely different, just a little bit. But gradually, those little bits add up to things that I certainly wouldn't have enjoyed earlier. It really is a strange experience, knowing that your brain is slowly being rewired, but I suppose that’s what life is.

[Azkyroth]

On the "learned early" thing, it's consistent with my experience. Some of the weirder things I fantasize about these days are things I found "thrilling" to contemplate as a young child, long before I consciously knew anything about sex.