My Photo

The Out Campaign

Atheist Blogroll

Blog powered by Typepad
Member since 05/2005

« Brief Blog Semi-Break/ Shameless Self- Promotion Opportunity | Main | Money Changes Everything: "The Girlfriend Experience" »

Comments

Tim Walters

Chuck Berry, "Memphis Tennessee":

Long distance information, give me Memphis Tennessee
Help me find the party trying to get in touch with me
She could not leave her number, but I know who placed the call
'Cause my uncle took the message and he wrote it on the wall

Help me, information, get in touch with my Marie
She's the only one who'd phone me here from Memphis
Tennessee
Her home is on the south side, high up on a ridge
Just a half a mile from the Mississippi Bridge

Help me, information, more than that I cannot add
Only that I miss her and all the fun we had
But we were pulled apart because her mom did not agree
And tore apart our happy home in Memphis Tennessee

Last time I saw Marie she's waving me good-bye
With hurry home drops on her cheek that trickled from her eye
Marie is only six years old, information please
Try to put me through to her in Memphis Tennessee

(Lyrics ganked from the net; "hurry home drops," for starters, may not be accurate.)

Tim Walters

Richard Thompson, "Taking My Business Elsewhere"

If she's not here by now, then I guess she's not coming
If she's not here by now, then I guess she don't care
Oh waiter, I won't waste your time anymore
You've already started to sweep down the floor
And I guess she's not coming, so I'll head for the door
I'll be taking my business elsewhere

It wasn't for me, that spark in her eyes
It wasn't for me, that halo in her hair
When she touched me a lump rose up into my throat
But she must act that way with any old soak
And waiter you don't seem to share in the joke
So I'll be taking my business elsewhere

She called me her fantasy
And boldly she kissed me
I'll never get over the sheer surprise
Of her acting that way
And I'm healing okay
But for the eyes of her...

Oh it's cold in the rain and it's dark and it's sad
And I'll miss her tonight on my lonely back stair
I'm sorry for taking so much of your space
I'll move down the street to some friendlier place
'Cause I guess she's not coming, and you're sick of my face
I'll be taking my business elsewhere

Admittedly, this would probably be addressed to a bartender if "bartender" had two syllables, but technically it counts.

Infophile

How about a little "Magic Bus" by The Who?

...

Every day I get in the queue (Too much, the Magic Bus)
To get on the bus that takes me to you (Too much, the Magic Bus)
I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile (Too much, the Magic Bus)
Your house is only another mile (Too much, the Magic Bus)
Thank you, driver, for getting me here (Too much, the Magic Bus)
You'll be an inspector, have no fear (Too much, the Magic Bus)
I don't want to cause no fuss (Too much, the Magic Bus)
But can I buy your Magic Bus? (Too much, the Magic Bus)
Nooooooooo!

I don't care how much I pay (Too much, the Magic Bus)
I wanna drive my bus to my baby each day (Too much, the Magic Bus)
*[Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus
Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus
Give me a hundred (Magic Bus)
I won't take under (Magic Bus)
Goes like thunder (Magic Bus)
It's a four-stage wonder (Magic Bus)

Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus
I want it, I want it, I want it...(You can't have it!)
Think how much you'll save...(You can't have it!)]
I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it ... (You can't have it!)

Thruppence and sixpence every day
Just to drive to my baby
Thruppence and sixpence each day
'Cause I drive my baby every way

Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus...
I want the Magic Bus, I want the Magic Bus, I want the Magic Bus...

I said, now I've got my Magic Bus (Too much, the Magic Bus)
I said, now I've got my Magic Bus (Too much, the Magic Bus)
I drive my baby every way (Too much, the Magic Bus)
Each time I go a different way (Too much, the Magic Bus)
I want it, i want it, I want it, I want it ...

Every day you'll see the dust (Too much, the Magic Bus)
As I drive my baby in my Magic Bus (Too much, the Magic Bus)

...

Of course, some people say this song is all code for drugs, but I don't really buy that myself. It makes even less sense than a guy that's never heard of a car buying a bus for only a hundred pounds.

Jessica

How about "Take a Letter, Maria"? Does that count, even though the service employee is the singer's own secretary? Surely it would merit bonus points for the fact that, after telling Maria all about his cheating wife and impending divorce plans, he tries to hit on her. Certainly asking her to take down the letters to his wife and lawyer constitutes misuse of company resources.

Nes

Everything I can think of right now (since mine were already mentioned...) are borderline cases.

Would Piano Man by Billy Joel count? He, as the titular piano man, is telling us about the bar patrons' problems -- including the bartender's! Though, with the exception of Paul, we don't really know anything about their love lives, just general life problems.

Callin' Baton Rouge by Garth Brooks might count, though it's doubtful that most of the song is directed to the operator. (I really doubt that he's telling the operator that there's a truck stop sign ahead, so he's changing lanes to get coffee and a couple of dollars in change.) The only part that is clearly speaking to the operator is the chorus:

Operator, won't you put me on through/I gotta send my love down to Baton Rouge/Hurry up, won't you put her on the line/I gotta talk to the girl just one more time

Then there's Weird Al Yankovic's Talk Soup which is all about revealing Too Much Information, but do talk show hosts count as service personnel? (For that matter, considering what talk shows are like, does that even count as inappropriate?)

arensb

My first thought was of The Telephone Call by Kraftwerk, but that's not about TMI, it's about stalking and harrassment.

Yazoo's Bad Connection comes closer, since the chorus can be interpreted as the singer pestering the phone repair crew to work faster. The first verse also implies that the singer has called the local news radio station and unburdened herself on the reporter.

sav

Mr. Sandman (The Chordettes)--a fairy-tale service provider, but a service provider nonetheless.

I love this game.

Elin

Not sure this counts:

Doctor, doctor
Give me the news
I've got a bad case of lovin' you

JM Kaye

Hitchin' A Ride by Vanity Fare

A thumb goes up, a car goes by.
It's nearly one a. m. and here am I
Hitching' a ride,
Hitching' a ride.
Gotta get me home
By the morning light.
I got no fare to ride a train,
I'm nearly drowning in the pouring rain
Hitching a ride,
Hitching a ride.
Gotta get me home
To my baby's side.
Long distant call l got today,
She sounded lonely so I'm on my way
Hitching a ride,
Hitching a ride.
Gotta get me home
To my baby's side.
A thumb goes up a car goes by
Oh won't somebody stop and help a guy
Hitching a ride,
Hitching a ride,
Been away too long
From my baby's side

Not sure if this counts or not, since the dude is basically talking to himself. But it seems to fit.

Jim

The first one that came to my mind:

"Mr. Ambulance Driver" by The Flaming Lips

Waiting... for the ambulance to come
Hoping that it doesn't come... too late
Hearing the sirens in the distance
Hold on help... Is on the way
Mr. Ambulance Driver
I'm right here beside her
Though I'll live some how I've found
Mr. Ambulance Driver
I'm not a real survivor
Wishing that i was the one that...wasn't gonna be here anymore
The one that isn't here anymore
The one that isn't here anymore
Oh...we can't trade places
Our lives are strangely our own
Mr. Ambulance Driver
Tell Me...for everyone that dies someone new is born
Mr. Ambulance Driver
I'm right here beside her
And tho I'll live somehow I've found
Mr. Ambulance Driver
I'm not a real survivor
Cause I'm wishing that i was the one that...wasn't gonna be here anymore
Mr. Ambulance Driver
I'm right here beside her
And tho I'll live somehow I've found
Mr. Ambulance Driver
I'm not a real survivor
Cause I'm wishing that i was the one that
Wasn't gonna be here anymore
The one that isn't here anymore
Waiting for the ambulance to come
Mr. Ambulance Driver

Nosmo King

I guess my only contribution would be Johnny Cash's "Hey Porter"; here's the second verse:

Hey porter! Hey porter!
What time did ya say?
How much longer will it be till I can
see the light of day?
When we hit Dixie will you tell that engineer
to ring his bell?
And ask everybody that ain't asleep
to stand right up and yell.

This is an example of too much information by way of exuberance, not heartbreak, but still-- if I were that porter, I'd tell the guy to sit down and shut up, or this train will be going to Dixie without him. In a nice way, of course.

Oh wait, how could I forget "Lady Cab Driver" by Prince? Obviously, I didn't. But you have to ignore the parts where he's coming on to her. So, maybe half a point for that. Obviously, transit professionals (cf "Tie a Yellow Ribbon…" above) have it rough.

--Nosmo King


Freak

The Christmas Shoes

Made worse by the fact that the singer complains that the clerk is taking a while.

Jonathan Coxhead

Hey Greta,

I've been lurking here a while. Thought I'd step forward with this one ... I know you'll like it, 'cause the caller is complaining to the operator that they won't put her through to a supernatural being.

Manhattan Transfer - Operator

Operator
Give me information
Information
Give me long distance
Long distance
Give me heaven...

(Two, three)
Operator
Information
Give me Jesus on the line
Operator
Information
I'd like to speak to a friend of mine
Oh prayer is the number
Faith is the exchange
Heaven is the street
And Jesus is his name
Operator
Information
Please give me Jesus on the line

Operator
Information
Won't you tell me why
Tell me why
Operator
Information
Don't try to tell me
What number to call
My mother used this number
When I was very small
And everytime she dialed it
She always got 't call the
Operator
Information
Please give me Jesus on the line

Operator
Information
Please hurry if you can
Oh Operator
Information
Please connect me
With the man
Don't worry 'bout the money
You know I will pay the charge
Just give me on the line
I'm callin' from my heart
Operator
Information
Please give me Jesus on the line
Please give me Jesus on the line

Won't you please -
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus on the line

Yeah!

The comments to this entry are closed.

Subscribe/ Donate to This Blog!

Books of mine

Greta on SSA Speakers Bureau


  • Greta Christina is on the Speakers Bureau of the Secular Students Alliance. Invite her to speak to your group!

Your email address:


Powered by FeedBlitz


Powered by Rollyo

Some Favorite Posts and Conversations: Atheism

Some Favorite Posts and Conversations: Sex

Some Favorite Posts: Art, Politics, Other Stuff