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This is especially true as you get older. My wife and I have rarely done it simultaneously. It is really difficult. Taking turns is much easier, and more fun.

Marley Fitz

We've been doing the "taking turns" orgasm since we met. It works well for us. Of course, we had to DISCUSS it along the way. Who knew one had to actually communicate wants/needs/desires/technique, etc. lol

Also, we never ask each other anymore "did you come?". It doesn't matter. We are each responsible for our own orgasm. If he gets there first (and I REALLY WANT to get there too), I just don't encourage him to pull out. He knows my signals because we've DISCUSSED them. Again, communication.

Taking turns does not diminish our satisfaction. In fact, in guarantees our pressure/no rules = great sex.

The 327th Male

Then there's xkcd's take on it all.

There is no such thing as simultaneity. Damned special relativity.


Mmm... I agree completely. I've experienced simultaneity several times and while it's like, "cool, simultaneous orgasms, we did it!" I also generally completely miss my partner's orgasm - other than being vaguely aware of it - because I am so intent on my own.
My husband generally takes care of me first and I love that he loves experiencing it with me. My boyfriend also concentrates on me and seeing his face near mine completely concentrated on me as I come is amazingly sensual! Then, I can concentrate on them, which is equally fabulous, and, I think, more intimate than coming together. If I happen to come a few more times while they're working towards their one and only, it's just icing on the cake. :)

C.S. Lewiston

Like everyone else who came of age in the mid-1970's, I saw no end of sensationalistic books and mens' magazine articles holding up simultaneous orgasm as the new Holy Grail. It's a shame that that particular obsession hasn't yet gone the way of leisure suits! Getting a partner off before I take my turn is half the fun (toes curling just thinking about it)!

I'm more or less in agreement with one of the male characters in the movie "Relax, It's Just Sex!" who concludes an on-screen monologue about which activities constitute "real sex" thusly: 'If I cum, and I'm not alone in the room, it's sex!'


If I cum, and I'm not alone in the room, it's sex!

Truer words were never spoken.

Jim Robinson

Yay, turns! One issue often overlooked is that many find coming last to be the privileged spot. Getting your partner off first may seam gallant, but it leaves them with (perhaps) a reciprocal obligation when maybe they'd just like to be done. Certainly for my (male) response curve sex becomes a whole lot less fun after I come. One of my answers to that is to take the idea of turns up a notch and have them span days rather than minutes.

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