So, as you may have already read, Christian Civil League of Maine Executive Director Michael Heath has recently written that the cause of the current U.S. financial crisis is -- not deregulation, not unchecked greed, not insane short-sightedness on the part of the financial muckety-mucks, but...
...wait for it...
More specifically, God's wrath at gay people.
In yet another example of God's spectacularly lousy aim. (I mean, if he was trying to punish the sinfully homosexual San Francisco in the 1989 earthquake, why was the overwhelmingly heterosexual Marina district hit the hardest, and the overwhelmingly homosexual Castro district left relatively unharmed?)
So since gay people seem to have such astonishing power to destroy (our secret is out at last! Now I'll have to kill you all!), I thought I'd come up with a list of the Top Ten Other Catastrophes That Fundamentalists Blame On Gay People.
9: The fact that your cousin ran out of liquor at his bachelor party.
8: The ultimate heat-death of the universe. (Or the ultimate Big Freeze of the universe. Take your pick.)
7: The fact that, after having lived in this apartment for three years, Ingrid and I still have a storage room piled full of unpacked boxes. (No, wait. That is the fault of gay people.)
6: The death of a third to a half of the population of Europe in the Middle Ages due to the Black Death. Retroactively. Our power for evil is so vast, and God's wrath towards it is so massive, that it can strike backwards in time.
3: The fact that Jane Austen only wrote seven complete novels.
2: The Boston Molasses Disaster of 1919. (No kidding. Look it up.)
And the Number One catastrophe that fundamentalists blame on gay people:
Please chime in with your own suggestions!