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« Catfish, 1991-2008 | Main | American Pie, and Sexual Morality Plays »


the chaplain

Very good piece.

Jon Berger

My dad had a fascinatingly nuanced variation of this attitude with regard to classical music: basically, "I enjoy it because I have the education, intelligence and temperament to appreciate it, but other people who claim to enjoy it are, in reality, so ignorant that they couldn't possibly be telling the truth; they're just pretending to enjoy it in order to try to impress people like me, but we're so smart that we know better."

I'm sure there must be examples of this kind of thinking in the world of sex and sexual orientation, too.


As a feminist, an Atheist, and a blogger I respect, I'd like to hear what you think of this:

Cleo Dubois

Right on Greta!

Thanks! And I do love broccoli and kinky sex and topping (and bottoming sometimes). For sure I love sex play more than broccoli for its many nuances and flavors.

Temporarily Anonymous

Hmm, good thoughts. I'm a regular reader and I've posted a few times, but I'm making this one anonymous for the sake of my partner's privacy.

The best example I could possibly think of happened just recently, and is possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me.

My partner of several years, with whom I've shared a home and bed, recently told me that he had a fetish. A fetish he's had for his whole life, an about which he had shared a few details, but had otherwise tried to keep secret from even me. Every time he indulged in it, even though I sometimes knew and would encourage him the best I could, he still felt horribly guilty. He would mentally beat himself up, and I didn't even know he felt bad about it. He'd lie about things sometimes, even to me, and even though he knew for certain I'd never judge him... and of course that always made him feel worse.

And the reason he suddenly came clean with me, told me everything and was able to be proud of himself? He found some videos on You-Tube of other people with the same, rare fetish. Once he knew it was something classifiable, something other people enjoyed, he realized he wasn't a monster, and was able to tell me everything.

Now I have the great pleasure of exploring it with him, learning things about both of us along the way. It's the best thing that's ever happened to either of us!

You know I'd go into more detail, but I think he'd get mad. ^^; Ah well. Courage to everyone who has ever looked inside themselves and realized they weren't exactly the same as the folks around them. Some of them are different inside too, and just too scared to show it even to themselves.

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