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C. L. Hanson

I'm also skeptical about applying the theories of chemical abuse wholesale to innate physical drives (sex and food).

If you follow the Mormon blogs, you'll learn that a majority of LDS men have a problem with "porn addiction," which makes it a bit hard to believe it's pathological (as opposed to being normal). one unfortunate effect I've observed is that the "addiction" label provides something of a second opinion ("It's not just a sin -- you're an addict!!") which allows people to justify giving a marriage-ending ultimatum rather than even considering the possibility of giving one's spouse a little consideration and privacy.


Why add the bit about not reading this article if you are under 18? Maybe this is a difference between American and British law, but I don't think that reading about any kind of sexual activity is illegal, just viewing things. Books don't have age restrictions after all. I think that one of the main things I got from this peice is in accepting unconventional sexual activity, is in understanding you don't have to feel guilty about your own sexual preferences that other people may view as unconvential. I feel that those things are relevant to anyone who is having sex, and often even more so to someone who is just begining to become interested in these things, such as those under age.

I'm over 18 now, but I know that when I first started having sex I read a lot of articles on the net, and they helped me in forming an adult, sensible opinion about such issues, far more than any of the sex-education I got at school. So I feel that such discussions really can't be shielded from an underage audience for their own good, as it really doesn't help them grow up.

Perhaps you added it for a completly different reason?


I got 1 in the test myself. I have sex everyday(in a relationship) and I used to read A LOT of erotic fiction. Never have had a problem, but yes, sex is a very important thing in my life.

I think the problem with the test is, that you kind of "have to know" how to answer. Out of what you said yes to:

"Do you feel that your sexual behaviour isn't normal?"
-What matters according to this question, is your own view only. What you yourself define as normal. SM isn't done by majority, but it's certainly not "not normal." If you think that there's nothing wrong with your sexual behaviour, you should have checked No.

"Are any of your sexual actitives against the law?"
-I think it's clear that this means things like pedophilia, rape and such. So in my opinion you should have checked a no.

"Has your sexual behaviour ever created problems for you and your family?"
-This must mean severe problems. It's not your problem that your parents weren't fine with you having any sex in the first place. And you writing porn and this blog is perfectly normal, the people who have a problem with it are not so normal. So in perspective, I think you should have checked "no."

...when it comes to "browsing on internet for people and porn" -hell, who doesn't do that? I don't watch porn myself, but I think erotic fiction does count as porn, and my partner found me via personal ad. So in this part, the test has a slight problem. But questions like that are a must have, since "the porn addiction."

I think it's called sex addiction, because: 1) the person is addicted, they can't stop. They think about sex all the time and are obsessed by it. 2) the person themselves experience that they constantly need sex. Constantly. 3) sex causes them more problems than enjoyment.

In my point of view, you don't have an addiction.

Greta Christina

"Why add the bit about not reading this article if you are under 18?"

I've done so on the advice of a lawyer. In the Oscarology thread, it was called to my attention that there were minors reading my blog. I contacted a lawyer, asking whether this could be a problem given how much sexually explicit material I have on my blog, and what I should do to protect myself. Putting the explicit stuff behind a "don't click through if you're under 18" curtain was the advice I got. I'll be doing this from now on with my explicit posts, and will also be retrofitting my previous explicit posts with the click-through curtain.

I'm not thrilled about it either. But I'm also not thrilled at the possibility of getting thrown in jail and/or having my blog shut down because I knew there were minors reading my blog and didn't do anything about it.

nina hartley

Wow. This takes the proverbial cake! I hate that there is this yutz sowing guilt and confusion about sexual behavior when so many people are already burdened with a lot of guilt and confusion about their sexuality. And to hear that the good doctor has no training or experience with sexually related issues makes me so angry I want to tear out my hair!

By his estimation, I'm clearly sick, sick, sick. I make porn, I view porn, I write porn, I swing, I engage in SM, my family really doesn't like what I do (though, 21 years into their awareness of my job, they've calmed down a lot), I wrote a book about sex, I speak about it and blog about it.

Wow. Better semd the nice young men in their clean white coats.

What's really sad is how many people will be even more beaten down by what they think is "wrong" with them.

I think it's irresponsible for him to do this, frankly.


I think that throwing around the term 'sex addiction' like people have been doing to justify their narrow-minded, bigoted, and repressed view on sexuality in general only trivializes those with a real impulsive or compulsive sex problem that interferes with their life and is indeed self-damaging. Basically, all this comment serves is to agree with you whole-heartedly. It's pathologizing non-normative sex. Shame on him. Shame, shame, shame. And shame again, because I'm trying not to get angry.


(I know I've made this point ebfore, but I don't remember when)

When I took that test, my score was very low. I think it is mostly because I happen not to like most of the usual "unusual" sexual practices.

However, when I followed your advice and substituted the word "music" for the word "sex", lo and behold, I am addicted to music! And yet, nobody seriously thinks I need any help with that.

You are absolutely right Greta, this man is a kook of (dare I say it) biblical proportions.


Aislin, the person who wrote this book is a doctor, a highly educated person. If, by "are any of your sexual activities against the law?", he meant pedophlia, rape, or the like, he was perfectly capable of using those words. The generalness of so many of these questions results in just about anyone taking this quiz ending up as a "sex addict."
Also, in the question about having multiple partners or sexual relationships at the same time, you could argue that he meant "having multiple relationships and being dishonest about it." But, again, if that's what he meant, then why didn't he say that?

Sex addiction is such a crock. As Greata points out, it pathologizes non-mainstream sex and people who like sex. And it gives people are are using sex in a way that harms others (e.g. having multiple partners AND being dishonest about it) the message that their bad decisions are somehow not their fault, i.e. the devil made them do it. It's degrading, shaming, and condescending, all at once.


Well, whaddya know, I might be a sex addict! Yaaaaay, me. All along I thought I just liked sex, liked feeling good, loved erotica, loved the way my body felt during, and after, sex, loved the way my mind reacted before, during, and after, sex. Who knew that I had a problem?


I agree with lozzy42, you are off base in your concept of the problem addressed. You don't know what you're talking about because you're not it. Having lived with a sex addict, I can say it has very little to do with drive or desire and everything to do with compulsivity and acting out regaurdless the impact on anyone else or even yourself.

Troy the Sexplorer

I masturbate everyday. I can say I am a sex addict but I'm not a perverted person. Sometimes, sex and masturbation can help me a lot like it relieves stress. Makes my life happy.

Sex Toy Fanatic

Sex addiction is like a drug addiction, one's you pop you cant stop. But it is considered a sexual addiction if I masturbate everyday? Because I masturbate almost 7 days a week..lolz..

Deshelle Nevlar

Sex Addictions is like sex toy addict it satisfy the sexual needs also can bring more closeness and intimacy and hence can strengthen your relationships.


The sex and the food are very similar in this direction as they probably are the basic principle one and the majority of basic driving of human. Some Points For the Appealing Couple. For your more information:

Nobody Special

When you say such things as "so do a lot of my friends" or "in California" or so on you are simply underscoring the fact that SOME level of social comparison is helpful for most people to assess their own choices. We are never a social creatures, we just have a whole lot of different normals to choose from. How much "thinking about sex" is too much is very akin to "how many drinks a week are too many" (not I hasten to add in danger to other drivers, though that can be true too, but just pointing out that relativity is always in play and the answers are culture dependent. My Wisconsin relatives who own a bar will answer this differently- just as you answer the sex question differently. Doesn't mean there is no such thing as excessive alcohol consumption- or sexualizing life to a point that interferes with many other things a person values.) The debate over "pathologizing" ethical and social choices is an old one- at least 50 years and it really heated up in the 80's. It is wonderful fodder for your blog, of course, but this is not very new or useful- adds nothing to the conversation in my view, but hey, if you got off, that's what counts. Haven't read the second one yet, maybe you get hot about the fact that 12 steps groups are para religious organizations. Go to town! I was big on that when I was using. As I enter my seventh decade and look back on a lot of "deviant" behavior I recall that the glee with which I lampooned sensible conventional society was actually part of another kind of issue altogether of which SOME of my behaviors were symptomatic. May not be true of you, but then again it could be. Anyway, it is a long life if you're lucky and perhaps you will look back and find all this posturing kind of silly, at best, and sad, on the down side. Have at it.

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Sex Addiction Treatment NYC

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