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Spanish Inquisitor

As a monogamous male with one sexual partner (wait. That's redundant, isn't it?) for the past...let's, it's 32 years already!...I have to say that I mightily concur with this advice. Maybe it takes a long term sexual relationship to figure it out, but there have been many times when I just didn't feel like it, but when I was done, I never once said "We shouldn't have done that". In fact, I invariably say, "why don't we do that more often?"

All the other good things in life, like chocolate, a good movie, great music, a wonderful novel, a good friend - they all can sometimes be too much of a good thing. I've never felt that way about sex.

David Harmon

One word: Snuggles!

OK, maybe that's a little too terse. ;-)

Try: "Are you willing to be affectionate?" With opportunity prearranged, you can work up from there....

nina hartley

I absolutely agree that simply being willing is 9/10 of the battle While my partner and I aren't monogamous we are very busy, so the only way to reliably have hot dates with each other is to schedule them. When the time comes see what kind of mood we're in at that moment and take it from there. We agree to show up in the mood to connect, to be open to one another and see where it takes us. We've never been disappointed. It's partly due to being middle aged, certainly, but also due to the demands of a two-career household.

Plan away, I say! Nothing in your lives, short of a fire or a bleeding child, can't wait for 90 minutes. Your attitude will be nicely adjusted by that time.

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