Note: This piece and the piece it links to don't talk a lot about my personal sex life per se, but they do a little, and it may be a bit too much information for family members and others who don't want to know about my sex life.
The idea is this: To have a sexual encounter that’s pleasurable for both (or all) partners, you don’t need to start out being aroused or excited or in the mood.
You just need to start out being willing
You need to start out willing to be aroused and excited and turned on. You need to start out willing to have sex, and to have a good time doing it. You need to be willing to be seduced... and to seduce. You don’t have to start out in the mood; you just have to be in the mood to be in the mood. If that makes sense.
To read more about how and why this works, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!